Didn't think I'd ever do it. I did. I'm going to do it again.
Background
6 months before the event, I was playing padel with Szymon, and since I'm a noob, he was giving me some tips. I got properly tired after that session (90 mins, tbf), but he was surprised. He said I was focusing too much on just the gym and I should work on my endurance more instead. "I've signed up for a half triathlon to help me destress. You should do it too." "Sure," I replied, "let's do it."
At first I was obviously teasing. What triathlon? Is he crazy? No way I'm going to do that, organize all the equipment, figure out the logistics and actually get ready to complete it. But the idea stayed with me. He said he could lend me his bike. I thought I'd just practice a little bit and see how I liked it before committing. Pieces started falling into place.
Then one night, after I recovered from a high fever, I had especially high motivation and I acted on that impulse. I went on the website and bought my slot, clicking through it as fast as I could so there was no time to second-guess myself. Paid, got an email: "You're doing a half Ironman in 4 months. No refunds." What have I gotten myself into??
Prep
Now it's for real. Can't get out of it. I actually need to finish the race. But it's only a half triathlon, so not too bad? 1.9 km swim in a lake, then 90 km cycling and then a half marathon. At that point I don't know if I can finish any of these within the time limit (yes, there are time limits). I need to take this seriously.
I got cycling shoes and Szymon's bike that is too small for me but still better than any of mine. We cycled together on a chill 90-ish km ride. Only took us 7 hours to do that, 1.5 hours slower than I need to finish it after swimming. Bro. Not gonna happen. I had to lock in.
I bought running shoes, a trisuit, a wetsuit and a heart rate monitor. I got a sports smartwatch as a gift. I went for a few runs, lake swims and longer bike rides. 2 months to go.
I packed it all and brought it with me to London. Then I trained with Szymon harder than ever before. I was tracking all my workouts. Learned a lot about the metrics: FTP, training loads, vO2 max.
Every day I was sore, tired. I wanted to find an excuse not to go. But he was relentless: "Okay, dude, we're going to Tufnell Park and doing hill climbs at 10 am tomorrow." "Come over on Wednesday morning, leave your bike at mine and we're going lake swimming." And it was like that every day.
Felt so good to have it done, and him motivating me was a major reason I got so much done. I would never push myself that hard.
Race day
Went to bed at 9 pm after leaving our bikes, putting tags on everything and checking in and collecting our merch. Wake up at 6 am, go for a walk, lots of carbs for breakfast. Two coffees and a quick car ride later, and I'm at the starting line. So many people, so noisy. The stress is getting to me. Standing there, wearing a wetsuit and waiting in line to get into the lake. Good thing there are some friendly people I can chat with so I can take my mind off of things.
Oh man, it's my turn. Every 8 seconds the horn blows and we go. I'm running in the water and then jump in to start swimming. It's happening. People everywhere around me. Have to look up to know where I'm going and not to swim into someone else. After around 15 mins I feel like I got lost. Shit, are they going to disqualify me? There is no way I swam that far already. Must've cut early? I keep going. Finally turned around. Now just need to get back.
And I'm out of the water. Didn't get elbowed. I'm trying to run, but I'm out of breath, so I just walk quickly as I unzip my wetsuit. In my head I'm planning exactly what to do next in order. I get to the transition zone, quickly put my wet stuff into the bag, put my socks on my feet, still all dripping with water. I grab my bike and run with it to the next zone.
Okay, I'm cycling. The hardest part. Just need to keep up the pace and not blow up my tire. No backup. Didn't even bring a spare tire. Such a noob move. Something goes wrong and I'm out. Don't think about it. Let's go.
10 km done. Some friends cheering me up. So nice to see them! I can do it. 20 km. Ate 4 gels and my stomach is starting to hurt. I don't want to pull a Joanna Wietrzyk, so I just focus on not dying. My stomach gets better after getting a few bananas from the volunteers. But everything else gets worse. I'm a bit under my ideal pace, but it's not terrible. Still averaging around 28 km/h. The wind is killing me. When are we going to turn around???
Finally going back. 60 km done, 30 more to go. I can't do it anymore. What I want the most right now is for this to end. I keep going. I tell myself if I make it past 80 km, I'm basically there. And now I have the back wind.
Last 10k. I can do it. It's downhill. I enter beast mode. All you lightweights who overtook me on hills, I'm coming for you. Going 40 km/h+ and I'm actually gaining on many people. Feeling so good when I arrive at the stadium, our destination. But it's not over. What do you mean I can't just rest? I gave my everything... Better put some Band-Aids on my feet and get ready for the last part. Now nothing can go wrong, right?
I see Szymon just after I begin my first loop. We chat for a bit and I run at his pace. He leaves me and I slow down. A lot. It's hot. How long is one loop? How am I still on the first one? There are people cheering, shouting my name, people I don't know. I used to think it's kind of cringe and overplayed. Man, it helps so much. So grateful to everyone who told me I can do it, who gave me a high five.
OK, second lap. At least I know the course and what to expect. Get sprayed by the hose. So much better now. Quick stop for a drink and I carry on. Friends, family, showing their support. I feel I can indeed do it. I would literally do almost anything for this to end. I feel sick. My legs don't want to move how I want them to. But I keep pushing. I will not walk.
One more loop. Everything hurts. I feel like I'm going to throw up. I have never run that much in my life, not once. And I started after the swim and bike. I talk briefly to some people on the way. Most of them can't run anymore. I'm still there because I'm going at a turtle's pace. But I am going!
Last 1k. I can almost see the finish line. I enter the stadium. This time I will finally go into the finishers' lane, not the next-lap one. I'm going as fast as I can, overtaking some people. I punch the bell for the first-time finishers. I throw my hands up. I made it. Let'sssss go!
I get my medal, drink a lot of water and get food. I'm so high from all the endorphins and adrenaline, sweaty, exhausted but happier than ever.
Closing remarks
This was a test of character more than anything else. I pushed my body more than probably ever in my life.
A week later we did a parkrun (Finsbury Park in London). It was my first. Just before Chris's wedding, after a night of playing Heroes of Might and Magic III, staying up very late. I went at ~5:30 pace at 94% of my max heart rate for 27 minutes. Fastest 5k ever. I'm invincible.
There is something so satisfying in knowing I can force my body to do things like these. This was just a half Ironman, so it's like second base. I got addicted. I'm coming for the full one, baby, getting that home run so I can show up in that T-shirt and flex on everyone in the gym.